Carved from the same stone King Arthur pulled Excalibur out of, Joel “BDJ” Buenrostro is by far the biggest member of Floridb Ultimate.

“Letting BDJ go was the worst mistake of my life”

said any girl foolish enough to do so.

“I’d do anything to have him back.”

It may seem like BDJ has a limp when he makes cuts up line, but he said that it’s not swag – he has a rare condition that throws off his center of gravity.

“It’s so bad that it almost feels like I have a third leg,”

BDJ said.

Awkward and lanky for a large portion of his life, BDJ came into his own when he discovered that if he ate his own weight in chocolate chip cookies, he would build enough mass to become a stud. Here he was just three months ago:


After posing nude for an art class at Santa Fe College, a talent scout for ABC discovered BDJ and asked if he would be interested in participating in “The Bachelorette.”

“I think it will be a refreshing challenge,”

BDJ said.

“I’m so use to girls throwing themselves at me, it will be a welcome change to have to duel other contestants.”

BDJ, who’s hobbies include frequenting medieval fairs, hopes the competitions include some sort of sword-fighting or jousting.

“I think I have the experience and stamina necessary for outlasting anyone,”

BDJ said.

If BDJ were stranded on a desert island, he would bring a disc, a bottle of Dom Perignon and Bryan Palmer.

“He’s grown on me,”

BDJ said.

“Even if I get that final rose, I’ll always have a special place in his heart.”


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