TALLY CLASSIC: FRUSTRATED WITH TEAM’S PERFORMANCE, PLAYER BREAKS HIS OWN CLAVICLE

Sometimes in ultimate, long points with several turnovers can exhaust and especially annoy players. Veteran Justin Renzi had enough of the Floridb squad this weekend at the 11th annual Tally Classic.

“Turn after turn after turn, I just couldn’t take it anymore,”

Renzi said.

“I made a decision.”

While pretending to bid for a disc on defense against Notre Dame B, Renzi took a nose dive, making sure to land directly on his collar bone. He joyfully called injury and frolicked to the trainer for ice.

“It definitely hurt,”

Renzi admitted.

“But the mental fatigue of watching my own team play such sloppy ultimate is insurmountable to the pain.”

Renzi, one of the faster and most athletic members of Floridb, is a reliable cutter and will leave a void that the team will need to instantly fill.

“Fantastic,”

said Floridb captain Will Ford.

“More noobs on every line.”

Renzi bragged in the team’s group chat later about the vacation time he would soon be having. Here’s an excerpt from his post:

collar-bone-xray medium.jpg

“Hey boys, hope you all missed your exit on the way home. I ended up getting some X-rays to make sure I have a medical excuse to take a break from playing with you. I ended up breaking my clavicle straight through the bone. I’ll be on vacation for six weeks, please get way better in that time or my next option will be much more drastic.”

Floridb wishes Justin a speedy recovery and encourages others not to purposely hurt themselves to avoid playing time.

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